youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
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I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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