Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
