It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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