alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
