I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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