I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
