I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
