Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
