Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
