the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
