i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
