whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I AM VODKA MAN
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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