I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
