ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
