How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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