I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
