Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
