im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize