I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
