my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize