I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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