Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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