It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
