Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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