That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I did not marry a roomba.
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