Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize