I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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