3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
