We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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