So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
