just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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