But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
