Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
