I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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