i already hear my dad disowning me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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