There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
