her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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