swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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