Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize