we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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