The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
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If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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