Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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