so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize