Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
