i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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