3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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