You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
