i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you never un-have a 4some
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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