Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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