So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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