I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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