This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
