what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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