sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
