Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize